Friday, May 29, 2015
Saving
My husband and I had a little bit of a fit last night about finances... okay. It was mainly just me throwing a fit now that I realize what happened. My husband and I have been married since September 2014, and have yet to experience a 'Honeymoon'. I am not super upset that we haven't had the 'Honeymoon', mainly because we just went to Maui, which is where we got engaged. What I would REALLY like to experience, is a destination for our 1 year anniversary. I have brought up Disneyland more times than I can count... my husband would prefer not going, and is trying his very hardest to say it in different ways and phrases. I don't know. I suppose it's stupid for wanting to go there, especially since I have been there so many times in my life. I just remember growing up, and while being there, seeing these young ladies with their boyfriend/fiance/husbands and how great it would be to be able to have my, now husband, there with me. I absolutely love theme parks, and I love the smell of Disneyland. Weird. I know. I just can't get enough of it though it seems like. I love going.... Bah. But I should probably stop thinking we might go, because I know that we probably won't. I don't want to have to drag my husband there if he doesn't want to go, and I am tired of fighting him about it. I did mention that maybe we could go to Colorado for our 1 year, and he seemed to be interested in doing that. My good friend lives their with her new family, and there are LOTS of things to do there that we both enjoy. Finances however come into play because we really don't have the money to go, or are afraid of spending what we have worked hard to save, and don't want to use it for going on a small trip. We currently have 2 credit cards with a decently high interest rate, and our thoughts were to consolidate the 2 and get a personal loan for a really low interest rate at a local credit union. We were thinking that if we paid off our credit cards, and took out a little bit more out of the loan, that we could use that as our 1 year anniversary trip money... but thinking about it... it's silly. If we don't have the money to pay it back right away, then it would be stupid to rack up more debt. The point of consolidating credit cards was to lower our payment each month as well as only having 1 payment. However, we only have one life... and I hate being restricted in my life because of the demands money has on us. I don't know what we will end up deciding on... but I hope we can benefit from it in some way.
Thursday, May 28, 2015
It's the Freakin'-Weekin' : Part II
Part II - Erotic Fan Fiction
''When she finishes the last bit of clothes, and closes the door of the washer to start it, she stands up straight and turns toward him...''
A sudden jolt of energy which feels both like panic and excitement fills her heart. It's Jack White, originally from the band 'The White Stripes'. I suppose being in a laundromat in downtown L.A. comes with some BIG perks. He starts opening his lips to greet her, and all she thinks is how slowly time is moving and how perfectly moisturized his lips seem to be. She looks up into his eyes as he speaks, and sees the mesmerizing twinkle shining back at her. A secretive and soft voice comes out, asking her... "What's your name?" She responds coyly, and smiles back at him as she says, "Jill". Jack is instantly amused she noticed, I am sure he was considering the possibility of one day courting her and being introduced as, Jack and Jill. She saw his amusement and she too snickered a bit. He replies back to her, "I wanted to see if you would be interested in joining me for lunch this afternoon, there is this great place that serves the greatest tasting burgers and steak fries in the whole entire universe of universes... you want to come with me?" She hesitates a moment, wondering if he is someone she can truly trust after just barely meeting... "Of course! Wouldn't miss it for the entire galaxy of universes of the universe! When is a good time for you?" "Well I popped in here today, thinking I left something on the counter, and when I got here, of course it was gone... so I sat down on that bench over there (pointing) and started texting my good friend letting him know that I couldn't find what I came in for, until I noticed you walking in. You took my complete breath away. However... you need time to do those clothes, girl! When are you going to be finished up here?" She completely forgot that she was even doing laundry, and she would readily let it go to go on a lunch date with Jack White. "Hmm. let's just go now? I like to be spontaneous, these clothes can wait." He offers out his arm for her to hold, and they walked out the heavy front glass door of the laundromat and headed off to lunch.
''When she finishes the last bit of clothes, and closes the door of the washer to start it, she stands up straight and turns toward him...''
A sudden jolt of energy which feels both like panic and excitement fills her heart. It's Jack White, originally from the band 'The White Stripes'. I suppose being in a laundromat in downtown L.A. comes with some BIG perks. He starts opening his lips to greet her, and all she thinks is how slowly time is moving and how perfectly moisturized his lips seem to be. She looks up into his eyes as he speaks, and sees the mesmerizing twinkle shining back at her. A secretive and soft voice comes out, asking her... "What's your name?" She responds coyly, and smiles back at him as she says, "Jill". Jack is instantly amused she noticed, I am sure he was considering the possibility of one day courting her and being introduced as, Jack and Jill. She saw his amusement and she too snickered a bit. He replies back to her, "I wanted to see if you would be interested in joining me for lunch this afternoon, there is this great place that serves the greatest tasting burgers and steak fries in the whole entire universe of universes... you want to come with me?" She hesitates a moment, wondering if he is someone she can truly trust after just barely meeting... "Of course! Wouldn't miss it for the entire galaxy of universes of the universe! When is a good time for you?" "Well I popped in here today, thinking I left something on the counter, and when I got here, of course it was gone... so I sat down on that bench over there (pointing) and started texting my good friend letting him know that I couldn't find what I came in for, until I noticed you walking in. You took my complete breath away. However... you need time to do those clothes, girl! When are you going to be finished up here?" She completely forgot that she was even doing laundry, and she would readily let it go to go on a lunch date with Jack White. "Hmm. let's just go now? I like to be spontaneous, these clothes can wait." He offers out his arm for her to hold, and they walked out the heavy front glass door of the laundromat and headed off to lunch.
To Be Continued...
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Dreamsicles
Death Cafe
A good friend of ours messaged me today a picture of a flyer, entitled 'Death Cafe'. Upon reading the description, I was instantly intrigued. "Death Cafes provide an opportunity for community members to gather together and have a casual conversation about death. The conversation is led by attendees..." At the end of the description, there was a website www.deathcafe.com. I checked it out and there are a BUNCH of these 'get-togethers' all over, but mainly on the west coast. I checked our area for another meeting, but the last one was April 25. Browsing around their website I learned about what it takes to start up a non-profit Death Cafe, and it's simple. You aren't paid for being affiliated with Death Cafe, and it is an event that should be free to those attending. (There was an option to ask for a donations, but you have to list what the donation is going towards i.e. food, refreshments, etc.) Anywho. This would be an AWESOME opportunity for me to get to talk to others who, like me, love to talk about the experience and mystery of death and dying. I wouldn't mind breaking out of my insecure shell and actually hold one of these events! I am currently listening to a playlist of Ted-talks that was provided by the Death Cafe website, and some are intriguing, some not so much... but once I find a great one I will post it here. :-)
Today has been good! Overcast, but 80 degrees. Got all my work done for the day here at my job, so I think I will write another post about gorgeous men... MmmmMMMMmmm.... Stay tuned.
Friday, May 22, 2015
Serious.
It's almost memorial day weekend, and I was looking through some powerful pictures of veterans who have died, and loved ones yearning for them. Death is powerful, it can consume your whole soul in grief alone. It is becoming more apparent, that maybe I am not as strong as I think I am when it comes to dealing with death.
My mother has Poly-cystic Kidney Disease (PKD) and has 14% use of her kidneys left as of recently. My grandma (mom's mom) is in her 70's and she also has this disease... also not doing so well. As I looked at these pictures of families grieving over their loved ones I could feel their emotion, and imagined myself in their position. It is painful. It really makes you wonder though, when is our time going to be? What is our purpose here... is there really a purpose, and who determines our lifeline.
Death can happen at any moment and to be honest, I am scared shitless of it happening... whether it is my family and loved ones, or myself. Where do we go? Is it really 'Heaven', or does your light get switched off and you stay in an endless sleep. I strongly believe in spirits and ghosts, it's just one of those things though, that no-one can REALLY explain. Maybe Theresa Caputo can LOL! Sometimes I wish I could connect with the 'other side' so I can be an advocate in helping those that are grieving that their loved ones are still with us in spirit. Where do these spirits go though. To me it seems that the spirit lingers for a certain amount of time, and they move on somewhere... perhaps reborn? It is such a crazy thing to fathom, it's the thing that everyone is scared of. It's scary not knowing what's to come really.
I purchased some death and dying books, but those help in grieving mostly.. I want to learn more about the actual experience of death. I will gladly take any sort of suggestions as I go through this life learning more about it.
Monday, May 11, 2015
Good Morning, Starshine!
The Earth Says Hello!
Well, this weekend was fun! We had beautiful weather here and my husband and I enjoyed being with our families for Mother's Day. This weekend my husband's parents had come back from Lake Havasu where they own an RV Pad.. not sure how long they will be back for, but I assume for 2 months or so. While over at their house, we had discussed with them how we are trying to pay off debt. My husband sort of suggested at one point before they had come home, that we could move out of our apartment and move into their house since they are not using it. It would help us save money if they would allow us to pay $200 for staying there each month, so that we can pay off our other debts. In theory, this is actually a really good idea... but for some reason I still get anxiety over it. I REALLY treasure our privacy... and if they are wanting us to move out sometime soon, that means we would be sharing living spaces... again... and I remember vividly how well that worked out the first time (*Cue Eyes Rolling*).
I think if we can respect each other as adults, then it could work out. I was telling my husband that we should try to have it worked out as they get the top half of the house and we get the bottom, or vice versa, I don't care as long as we have our privacy. My husband reminded me that they have their RV now, and they even suggested that they could live in the RV. I think it should be totally different now that we are married, but I know his parents well.... this could be a train wreck. I also feel that they will make us feel like we OWE them something if we did move in. Their payment is like $800 / month, and if we are only paying $200, I feel like they will bring that up. I enjoy having my weekends off, even though working during the week isn't THAT strenuous. I like not having someone telling me what I should be doing... that can get really irritating. I'm a grown woman, I am capable of making decisions and I also know what I need to be doing. I really don't need that reminder constantly. BUT, if I listen to my husband, and TRUST that we only have to have them around for a couple of months, I MIGHT be okay with that.. but I did let him know that even if they are gone, I want out of there ASAP. It just reminds me so much of all the negativity throughout my husband's life, and it absorbs right into my life as well.
My husband and I will be discussing those plans further and hopefully everything works out. We are also discussing merging our checking accounts and consolidating debt onto 1 credit card. Another thing that we need to get done ASAP in my opinion. I should be able to handle that on my own, but I would like my husband's opinion as well by being there with me when we do this. I suppose we could do it together in the morning sometime before this Wednesday, since my boss is gone until then. Need to.
I have been reading NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children by Ashley Merryman. So far, this has been very insightful. I do think to myself as I am reading that well, of course that makes sense.. why do I do that? I have always struggled with connecting to children it seems like... like I am exerting way too much effort to be the best sort of role model, but it shouldn't be hard. I am realizing that now as I am going through the book. Just need to keep it simple... stupid. hah.
Hoping this day doesn't drag ass today...
Well, this weekend was fun! We had beautiful weather here and my husband and I enjoyed being with our families for Mother's Day. This weekend my husband's parents had come back from Lake Havasu where they own an RV Pad.. not sure how long they will be back for, but I assume for 2 months or so. While over at their house, we had discussed with them how we are trying to pay off debt. My husband sort of suggested at one point before they had come home, that we could move out of our apartment and move into their house since they are not using it. It would help us save money if they would allow us to pay $200 for staying there each month, so that we can pay off our other debts. In theory, this is actually a really good idea... but for some reason I still get anxiety over it. I REALLY treasure our privacy... and if they are wanting us to move out sometime soon, that means we would be sharing living spaces... again... and I remember vividly how well that worked out the first time (*Cue Eyes Rolling*).
I think if we can respect each other as adults, then it could work out. I was telling my husband that we should try to have it worked out as they get the top half of the house and we get the bottom, or vice versa, I don't care as long as we have our privacy. My husband reminded me that they have their RV now, and they even suggested that they could live in the RV. I think it should be totally different now that we are married, but I know his parents well.... this could be a train wreck. I also feel that they will make us feel like we OWE them something if we did move in. Their payment is like $800 / month, and if we are only paying $200, I feel like they will bring that up. I enjoy having my weekends off, even though working during the week isn't THAT strenuous. I like not having someone telling me what I should be doing... that can get really irritating. I'm a grown woman, I am capable of making decisions and I also know what I need to be doing. I really don't need that reminder constantly. BUT, if I listen to my husband, and TRUST that we only have to have them around for a couple of months, I MIGHT be okay with that.. but I did let him know that even if they are gone, I want out of there ASAP. It just reminds me so much of all the negativity throughout my husband's life, and it absorbs right into my life as well.
My husband and I will be discussing those plans further and hopefully everything works out. We are also discussing merging our checking accounts and consolidating debt onto 1 credit card. Another thing that we need to get done ASAP in my opinion. I should be able to handle that on my own, but I would like my husband's opinion as well by being there with me when we do this. I suppose we could do it together in the morning sometime before this Wednesday, since my boss is gone until then. Need to.
I have been reading NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children by Ashley Merryman. So far, this has been very insightful. I do think to myself as I am reading that well, of course that makes sense.. why do I do that? I have always struggled with connecting to children it seems like... like I am exerting way too much effort to be the best sort of role model, but it shouldn't be hard. I am realizing that now as I am going through the book. Just need to keep it simple... stupid. hah.
Hoping this day doesn't drag ass today...
Friday, May 1, 2015
Counting the Hours
Well hello.
I am currently counting down the hours to the end of this work day. It is absolutely gorgeous outside and being in a building for 8 hours is no way to treat a work day. :) Lucky for me, I can go out and watch a Softball game and still get paid for it. I really REALLY am lucky and so thankful for this awesome job!
I keep bringing in a book to read, but I still have yet to open it. I always feel like I am going to 'get caught' and be reported or something. Must be all those years working in the concentration camp called the City Government. Gosh, you always, always, had to watch your back and make sure to say the right thing or else your job could be on the line. It's so crazy to think that I did that for 3 years. Not saying that amount of time is a long time, but if you really aren't enjoying what you are doing then it can be torture.
With it being Friday, I think I might go treat myself to a soda and head down to the softball fields in a while to watch the game. I am excited for it being Friday and a whole weekend to do absolutely NOTHING! haha!
I am currently counting down the hours to the end of this work day. It is absolutely gorgeous outside and being in a building for 8 hours is no way to treat a work day. :) Lucky for me, I can go out and watch a Softball game and still get paid for it. I really REALLY am lucky and so thankful for this awesome job!
I keep bringing in a book to read, but I still have yet to open it. I always feel like I am going to 'get caught' and be reported or something. Must be all those years working in the concentration camp called the City Government. Gosh, you always, always, had to watch your back and make sure to say the right thing or else your job could be on the line. It's so crazy to think that I did that for 3 years. Not saying that amount of time is a long time, but if you really aren't enjoying what you are doing then it can be torture.
With it being Friday, I think I might go treat myself to a soda and head down to the softball fields in a while to watch the game. I am excited for it being Friday and a whole weekend to do absolutely NOTHING! haha!
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